He then takes command of all outside influences so that he has complete control over Paula, making it easier to manipulate her sense of reality.Of course, he pretends to have genuine concern for Paula, but the bottom-line is that he is only concerned about isolating her.When he searches her handbag he mysteriously finds it there.

side effects of dating a narcissist-44

Having isolated her from those within the house, he then precedes to take command of all outside influences so that he has complete control over her.

He stops all visitors, and he does not allow her to leave the house.

He states that in Europe no woman would feel humilliated for such a trivial act.

Convinced that the wife is insane, Nancy begins to treat her with contempt, and Paula can feel her loathing, which further distresses her.

The term “Gaslighting” comes from the 1944 Hollywood classic movie called Gaslight.

The film starts with the murder of the famous opera singer Alice Alquist in London.The victim becomes depressed and withdrawn, they become totally dependent on the abuser for their sense of reality.In effect the gaslighting turns the victim’s reality on its head.For example, he fires his wife’s trusted elderly maid, replacing her with a younger one (Nancy) that he can seductively control.When Paula complains of feeling hurt and humiliated by his behaviour with Nancy, he tell her he is only being friendly.Because of it’s subtly, this cunning Machiavellian behaviour is a deeply insidious set of manipulations that is difficult for anybody to work out, and with time it finally undermines the mental stability of the victim. The emotional damage of Gaslighting is huge on the narcissistic victim.